I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
