I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
