there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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