Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
