Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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