we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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