Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
