69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
