yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Blood and glitter go together right?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize