yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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