I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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