i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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