i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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