I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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