Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
