their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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