How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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