I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
