So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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