guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
