He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
