she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
