Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
