are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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