So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
