I hate your face
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
