that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
