But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
