I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
