i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
