everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
