So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
