Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
