My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
