She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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