And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
