I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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