you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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