I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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