Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
