My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
