I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
