Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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