I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
