im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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