wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
