I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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