Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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