I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize