I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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