yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize