remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
