I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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