OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I got inside last night via doggy door
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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