why didn't you poke me back
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Randomize
