I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
