I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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