what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
