He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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